


every rose has its thorn

by Nokomis



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: (no one tell Tony), Fluff and Humor, Gen, Peter wants Bucky to be his mentor, in all things badassery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-14 18:06:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14774555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nokomis/pseuds/Nokomis
Summary: Peter was going to save the Winter Soldier and then maybe they could go out for nachos, because Peter badly needed lessons in badassery and he had a freaking professional right here in front of him.





	every rose has its thorn

**Author's Note:**

> I really don’t want to say how long this prompt sat half-finished in my googledocs, but this is for cityfibers! Set at some imaginary time post-Homecoming where Bucky is somewhat stable back in NYC. Thanks to Perspexsea for the title!

“This isn’t what I was expecting,” Peter said, a bit dumbfounded, as he looked around the park. Possibly he was being pranked? Maybe Mr. Stark bought the rights to Punk’d and decided to bring it back with a superhero twist. 

“Just get me out of here,” grunted Bucky Barnes, the Winter Soldier himself, who looked like he was about two seconds away from raining murder down upon the populace. Peter hesitated, but Mr. Stark had asked him to help and he kind of owed him, what with how Peter went around wearing a few million dollars worth of Mr. Stark’s tech and all, so he took a deep breath and stepped forward.

“I’m trying,” he said. The issue was that Bucky Barnes was tangled in the center of a truly intimidating rose bush, and there were thorns everywhere. Everywhere! “How did you even get here? Like, no offense, Mr. Barnes sir, but I thought you were a trained professional. This looks more like… well, like what I would do.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Bucky said. “Just. Don’t you have a knife or something?”

“Don’t you?” Peter shot back before thinking. He was pretty sure Bucky growled in response, but he chose to ignore it for everyone’s well-being.

Peter reached into the rose bush and pulled a branch out of the way carefully. “I’ll get you! It’s just going to take a minute,” he said, then yelped as a thorn tore through his costume. “Oy! Are these super-soldier thorns? I feel like I’m being stabbed!”

“How do you even know how it feels to be stabbed?” grumbled Bucky. “What are you, twelve?”

“Fifteen,” Peter said defensively.

“Kid,” Bucky said, “That doesn’t help.”

“Not all of us are octogenarians,” Peter said defensively, reaching in again and flinching when he accidentally grabbed another thorn. “Okay. I’m just going to web these out of the way and i think I can get you out of here.”

“Please,” Bucky said. He sounded resigned, as though he thought that Peter wouldn’t actually be able to get him free. Peter could totally do this and prove the Winter Soldier wrong and maybe they could go out for nachos, because Peter badly needed lessons in badassery and he had a freaking professional right here in front of him. He'd dreamed it would be Thor gloriously teaching him the ways of badassery but in a pinch he figured the Winter Soldier would do. Peter was smart enough not to mention that Bucky was second-runner-up, though.

It took longer than Peter would have liked, but eventually he managed to get the thorny branches secured enough out of the way that Bucky could escape. 

They both stared at the bush. 

“I think it’s been weaponized, somehow,” Bucky said finally. “You have some bullshit supervillains here. Using rose bushes.” He scoffed.

“Should we just leave the weaponized rose bush there?” Peter asked. Probably it wasn’t a good idea. If it could engulf the Winter Soldier, joggers and dog walkers wouldn’t stand a chance.

“Good point,” Bucky said, and moments later the rose bush was on fire. Bucky Barnes was clearly a man of action.

“Well, since we’re both free, you want some nachos?” Peter asked, fully expecting to be turned down.

Bucky just shrugged and said, “I could eat.” Probably he had a super fast metabolism like Peter. 

Half an hour later, they were hanging out on Peter’s favorite rooftop with takeout orders of nachos balanced on their laps. Peter had made the executive decision to get takeout, since he couldn’t imagine eating in a restaurant in costume with the Winter Soldier, both bleeding from tiny scratches and smelling of both roses and smoke, would end well. Probably it would end up on the internet.

Maybe they should have eaten in the restaurant. Peter could only gain cool points from that situation. Total missed opportunity.

“So Mr. Barnes,” Peter said, shoveling nachos into his mouth, “I was wondering if you give lessons.”

“I’m not teaching you to kill people,” Bucky said, eating his nachos with far more care. He picked up individual chips and scooped toppings onto them with a fork. A fork! It was disgraceful. “Pretty sure Steve would get mad.”

“I don’t want to know how to kill people,” said Peter, whose Aunt May had suffered from a years-long CSI-addiction during his impressionable years and thus considered murder-lessons redundant, “I wanna know how to be badass and awesome like you.”

Bucky blinked a few times. “I’m not sure I see the distinction.”

“I have superpowers, right,” Peter said, glossing over Bucky’s laissez-faire attitude towards murder. “So I’m technically already a badass. But no one has ever considered me a badass! I need to know your secrets.”

“Kid,” Bucky said, shaking his head a little. “Probably no one considers you a badass because you’re a baby. An actual human infant.”

Peter frowned. “But I’m a baby who can throw a car!”

“Exactly,” Bucky said. “You have the element of surprise. No one expects a baby to throw a car.”

“So you’re saying I should just… embrace the fact that no one takes me seriously.” Peter poked at his nachos thoughtfully. “And use it?”

“I think it would be a good way to play it,” Bucky replied. Peter could read between the lines. Bucky didn’t think he _could_ be badass.

“But like, you weren’t always so buff,” Peter pointed out. “How’d you learn? Or did you learn while you were brainwashed?”

“Being badass isn’t about being buff.” Bucky looked like using the word ‘buff’ made him deeply regret taking Peter up on his nacho offer. “Look at Stevie. He was running his mouth and picking fights back when he was tiny.”

“He was?” Peter could feel his eyes widening and he leaned forward, eager to hear any other tales of Captain America’s erstwhile youth. “At school they just talk about how sickly he was.”

“That, too, but he never let it stop him,” Bucky said. “He’s always talked the talk, even back before he stood a chance of walking the walk.”

“Oh,” Peter said. “So since I can walk the walk, you’re saying I need to talk the talk.”

“Talking more isn’t going to help you look badass,” Bucky said, “but like I said. It’s not a bad thing. You jabbering on like you do, that’s just going to make people underestimate you. Maybe even distract ‘em.”

Peter nodded, but dignity forced him to say, “And I mean, it’s not like I’ve ever lost a fight with a rose bush. So in some ways I’m even more badass than, say, the Winter Soldier.”

Bucky, nonplussed, gestured at him with a chip. “You have guac on your Spider-suit.”

“I was just saving that,” Peter said, wiping it away quickly. “For emergencies. You Depression-Era types should respect that.”

Bucky let out a rusty-sounding laugh. “See? You might not think so, kid, but I don’t think you need any lessons.”

Peter wanted to agree, but he knew what Ned and MJ would say if they found out about this missed opportunity. “One last thing….”

It turned out you could buy murder-walk lessons with the promise of ice cream, if you asked just right. It also turned out that Peter greatly overestimated his own ability to mimic a murder-walk. Bucky seemed like the sort of dude who needed a few laughs, though, so not all was lost.

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi on [tumblr!](http://nokomiss.tumblr.com/)


End file.
